Mics Life

so really . . .

2006-12-02T07:16:21Z

i aint been on in awhile

how the fuck r ya'll!??!?!?!

on another note

2006-08-21T08:18:05Z

i wish i couldve made that one girl happy . . .

u know who u are

i cant explain my actions n e more

i dont know why i look out for only me now!

i hope you end up ok

whether im in ur lif eor not

i feel i dont

UGH
to be continued!!!

why does life not phase me as much????

2006-08-21T08:15:27Z

no seriously

i dont get it??!!?

i know somewhere along the line im gonna feel some sort of pain

but hwere is it now

i feel numb

Ive Learned Alot Recently . ..

2006-08-09T05:05:17Z

its always the summer that helps me learn alot

and summer is not really summer for me

i have the same schedule reguardles

nothing is different

its just weird that alot happens during this time

what ive learned this summer

i have a lot of flaws

i already knew that though

i need to focus more on the things i want

not what others want

i need to make time to enjoy life

some people r just not worth the fucking time!
[ya'll feel me on that]

i come before any of you greedy FUCKS!!!

i have some of the greatest friends

in the world!!!

i seriously owe each and everyone one of ya'll so much!!!!

this is ponly part one

as if u fucks care

I love ya'll

goodnite

when death comes to get me . . .

2006-08-03T10:35:56Z

please dont cry

celabrate my life

be happy that you spent time with me

understand it happens for a reason

dont go drink the pain away

feel it and realize things happen for a reason

the day i vanish from this earth i want ya'll to laugh and cry and enjoy the life ya'll have left to live

dont let the shock get the best of you

we all go one day

just be glad that you get to wake up the next

R.I.P.

Daniel Zarate

you will be missed

i am so

2006-07-31T06:47:50Z

dead . . . . . .

only if u let it . . .

2006-07-10T04:22:24Z

but i have an idea

i dont mean this to be rude

dont take it that way

but

when u come to a decision

of what you want

come looking for me

cause ive been here for sometime

patient

and still am

but u decide whats more important

So The Day Begins

2006-06-29T06:44:31Z

so i talk about how im gonna do it but i dont

today i begin to cut ALL ties

all the ones that help me to hold my life back

im tired of screaming at the walls here

theres never a response

im trying really

im learning day by day

when u fall down its SO hard!!!!!!!!

but im a fighter

have been

and i cant do this alone

i need his help

so i will ask tonite

why do i surround myslf with so much fakenes

crews dont really matter

nit these days it seems

why do i o so much to make myself believe things are fine

why??

why amd i just ignoring the signs??

why??

wouldnt it be great of i knew the answers

oh well

i need some relief

and to the guy that spoke of the acoustic/hip hop project

whats up??

let me know

so this is life . . . .

2006-06-02T09:37:45Z

i used to get on here and complain about how screwed up life is

but now i just kinda accept it and try to change what i can

i used to wonder why i have the fakest friends a guy could ask for

but now i just accept it and try to shut the fu*k up about it

life has changed so much over these past years

things are fu*king crazy these dayz

ive lost alot of friendships

i gained alot more back

relationships have been hell

and ive put some through hell

but

im tired of all this stupid crap

and im slowly trying to grow up

im not sure if anyone can tell but ive matured alot

theres still alot to grow up on

simply cause im a guy and were stupid

but im trying

i hvae goals in life

who knows if i'll reach tem

but thats what makes life what it is

the fact that nothing goes as planned

things randomly happen

if everything went as planned it would be pretty fu*king boring after awhile

idk

i just wanna enjoy everything about life these dayz

i wanna stop the arguements with those i care about

i wanna build new and IMPROVED friendships

u know people i can actually count on to have my back

i absolutely love the crowd ive been around every now and then these dayz

i see some things that are in my life that i dont

want to go away

alot of the people in my life are all connected back to one special person

this is one of the million and one reasons

why i know that this is what i need

who i need

and why i tell anybody that doesnt respect it to kiss my ass

bottom line

respect me, my decisions

and the people i love

and as far as my life goes

pray for me cause im trying to do right . . .

so here it is . . .

2006-05-13T15:34:42Z

hopefully by august i will be ready to perform some material!!

im excited

oh and today is my b day

i doubt i'll be as shitfaced as i planned

actually i might not drink at all

its not necessary

i just wanna be around the people i care for

the show will be tight!!!

i wish u would be there

i hope things get better for you

and as far as us . . .

i dont wanna be just another boy that failed you
another asshole!!!!
i still wanna be more than that!!!!!!!

i hate that i havent been ther lately

everything was just so weird lately and at times

it seemed i wasnt wanted as far as being there for you

im glad you called!!!!!!!!!

im here for you

ah ha!!!!!!!!

2006-05-09T03:50:04Z

SARA IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

itz bout time some shit starts going right!!!!!!!!!!

im so excitd cause this summer will be ill!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and i have been really chill and pretty much disreguarded life lately!!!!!!!!

and itz been amazing cause nobody else gives a shit for once!!!!!!!!!!

now all i need is to start getting beatz for my albums

all in due time

wow

im almost 20!!!!!!!!!

FUCK!

2006-05-04T20:00:04Z

thsi shit is so crazy!!!!!!!

fucking promotional shit is fucking wearing me out!!!!!!

But

i love it cause im doing one of the many things i love!!!!!!!!!

now if i could just get everything else in its place

when will that happen

id give anything to get that rosary back!!!

2006-04-28T06:03:55Z

i lost it once and it

well it was a miracle i got it back

but i gave away my protection to someone i thought neede it

and now i regret it . . . .

i wish i had it now

Today Shouldve Been Her Day . . . R.I.P.

2006-04-27T18:02:41Z

this makes you think about life . . .

and how precious it is

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY ANNA

To those of you who wont repost this, thats kind of sad. I know most of you didnt know her but I have seen you repost the most ridiculous bulletins like "If you dont repost this in .2 seconds you will die tonight and your crush will hate you", "What kind of skittle are you?", "Whats your favorite song to have SEX too?", "put BACARDI if your taken", "Leave me comments lyke now!!1!!111" and so on. But you cant repost one that has meaning, and that isnt threatening you?

To alot of you this is just another sad bulletin or news article, but to the people who knew her she was their daughter, best friend, niece, cousin, crush, grandaughter, sister, prom date. Think of how they feel? and how you would feel if this happened to someone close to you.</font>

R.I.P Anna Svidersky

Anna was a smart 17 year old girl who lived in Vancover, WASHINGTON.
She attended Fort Vancover Highschool and was going to graduating this June,2006.
Thursday, April 20th 2006 in the evening she was stabbed and murdered at Mcdonalds while working.
She didnt deserve this, at all. There is so much violence going on lately its ridiculous.
Her Myspace

'THE ARTICLE' HereOr look below.

Stabbing of Vancouver teen hits community hard

02:35 PM PDT on Friday, April 21, 2006
By TERESA BELL and KRISTINA BRENNEMAN, kgw.com Staff

kgw.com/Vancouver Schools

A photo of Anna Svidersky from her high school yearbook.

VANCOUVER -- The deadly stabbing of a 17-year-old girl who made everyone smile is tearing the Vancouver community apart, said the Vancouver police chief Friday.

Anna Svidersky, a Fort Vancouver High School senior, was stabbed in the chest by a stranger while working at McDonald's Thursday night, said Police Chief Brian Martinek at a news conference.

"It's tearing us apart, quite frankly," he said. "There's no magic wall around Vancouver. We've had two young girls killed in the last six months," referring to the November 2005 murder of 14-year-old Chelsea Harrison.

Svidersky, who would have graduated in June, was taken to Legacy Emanuel Hospital in Portland where she died around 9 p.m. Thursday. An autopsy was scheduled for Friday morning, Martinek said.

The suspect, David Barton Sullivan, was charged with first-degree murder Friday morning.

KGW photo

Police collect evidence at the crime scene.
"We preliminarily determined he had an intent to kill," Martinek said. "The suspect armed with a knife walked into one of the doors of McDonalds.... found the victim at a table and stabbed the victim. There's not a whole lot of question about what happened and who did it."

Many employees in the McDonalds saw what happened, he said.

The owner of the Vancouver McDonald's, Matt Hadwin, issued a statement saying, "We are shocked and saddened by this random act of violence against one of our employees. Our thoughts and prayers go out to her family and friends during this difficult time. We are fully cooperating with the Vancouver Police as they investigate this incident."

During a court appearance Friday in Clark County Superior Court, Sullivan was shaking and twitching. The judge ordered he be held without bail.

Sullivan, a registered sex offender in Washington state, will be arraigned on the murder charge April 28. He also has a criminal history that includes kidnapping and unlawful imprisonment, according to court records.

Also Online

Suspect is registered sex offender
In addition, Sullivan, who lived at home, has a history of mental illness, said Police Chief Martinek.

Sullivan had pleaded guilty to unlawful imprisonment with sexual motivation in 2003 for trying to kidnap a 14-year-old girl in Vancouver. He was sent to Western State Hospital, treated for paranoid schizophrenia and found competent to stand trial. He was sentenced to 90 days in jail.
"This is obviously very tragic for everyone involved," he said. The Vancouver Police Department "wants to pass on its condolences to famiy, school and community."

Nancy Faaren, principal at Fort Vancouver High School said Svidersky's death "is a very sad day for Fort Vancouver High School. Svidersky was "well-liked by students and staff alike. She will be greatly missed by students and staff."

The senior had a good sense of humor and contagious laugh, and juggled several jobs as well as full-class load, she said.

School counselors would be helping students with their grief, Faaren said.

KGW photo

David Sullivan, a suspect in the stabbing of a Vancouver high school student, enters court.
Shortly after the first 9-1-1 call about the stabbing at McDonald's, at 2814 N.E. Andresen St., emergency dispatchers received a report that a man was being pursued on foot and police dogs were quickly sent to the scene. Martinek said several witnesses from McDonald's had followed Sullivan from the restaurant.

Officers said he was soon captured and a knife believed to be the murder weapon was found nearby as well.

Police have not determined a motive in the stabbing. The McDonald's is located in an area about halfway between downtown and Orchards.

The girl's mother found out about the attack when she showed up Thursday night to drive her daughter home from work. A Russian-speaking Vancouver Police officer accompanied Svidersky's family to the hospital Thursday night.

The McDonald's restaurant was closed Thursday night after the stabbing and re-opened at 6:30 a.m. Friday. McNicholas said the staff at the fast-food chain was struggling with the loss, as were police, even though they didn't personally know the slain teen.

(KGW reporter Scott Burton also contributed to this article.)

If you have a heart, pass this on. Let her be rememberd.
IMPORTANT!
To repost this correctly (pictures and all) you will have too press "reply to poster" and copy the HTML(codes) of this message starting from <*center*> down. & Then paste it and post it as a new bulletin

so this is it . . the truth!!

2006-04-27T16:58:42Z

i cant put you through any more pain

i know you cant handle it

and i seriously cant handle it!!!

i know thats why your fighting things right now but . .

i cant let you walk outta my life

i can ignore it all i want if it happens but

in the long run it will be the hardest thing to deal with

i wont accept that one day you may not be there

that short dream affected me so much!!!!!

i cant deal with the fact that one day you might love someone else

i want us to be in love

with each other

i didnt say it back that night because i was scared to say it!!

but i realize so much now

i'll admit i was a dumbass before

and if you ask me why i couldnt give you one straight answer!!!

there are so many reasons!!

but i wanna continue what we started!!

without you i wouldnt of been able to let go of my past

and the pain i kept inside that affected me

and everthing else that held me back

im not perfect

and never will i claim to be

i used to be so good inside

but im torn now

i need to rebuild myself

i nee to rebuild my world

but i dont wanna do that with out you

please let me show you i really want you in my life

love isnt supposed to be like this

lets learn what its supposed to be like together

take my hand please . . .

will you??

but i guess

2006-04-25T20:58:29Z

no matter what im wrong

cant say this aint the truth

2006-04-25T20:56:10Z

REMEMBER WHEN YOU FELT SORRY FOR HER
(I FORGOT TO TELL YOU SHES GOOD AT MAKING PEOPLE FEEL SORRY FOR HER)
I DON’T KNOW I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT A COMMENT YOU
MADE AHWILE BACK ABOUT HOW YOUR NOT GONNA STOP TALKING TO HER
ABOUT HOW YOU REALLY LIKE HER
ITS CRAZY CAUSE WHEN SHE WAS PUT BEFORE YOU AT TIMES YOU HATED IT
AND NOW YOU PUT HER BEFORE ME
THAT MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MY RELATIONSHIP WITH HER AND YOURS IS
I WAS INTMATE WITH HER
I REALLY FELL FOR HER
WHATS YOUR EXCUSE
THIS IS ANOTHER REASON IM STEPPING BACK SO YOU CAN THINK
CAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE YOU HAVING A FRIENDSHIP WITH HER IS WAY MORE IMPORTANT THAN US HAVING ONE
AND YOU SAY SHE HAS NO REASON TO LIE TO YOU
SHE HAS NO REASON TO BE FAKE WITH YOU
YOU SAID IT YOURSELF
THAT SHES FAKE WITH YOU
FUNNY HOW SHE WAS WHAT WAS TEARING US APART IN THE BEGINNING
AND NOW SHES ONE OF THE REASONS WILL ARE APART NOW
TALK ABOUT EXTREME BEHAVIOR AND DRASTIC CHANGES!!!

EXPLAIN THIS ONE FOR ME . . .

im in that mood

2006-04-25T16:27:23Z

and wondering why everything is so fucking complicated

i mean seriously thats life

a big complication

and we complain about it daily

why bother

it wont make things better

its fucking pointless to drown in self pity

does anyone understand??

i doubt it

cause it one time i didnt

but now i see

im not bitching

im just saying

IDK!!!!

Fuck IT

today will be a good day adn if it aint

at least i woke up!!!

micsheartbleeds @ 2006-04-25T02:23:00

2006-04-25T07:25:37Z

i dont know what it is you want me to do

thats why im doing what im doing now

youve basically shut me outta your life

what am i to do

i know how i feel but i also feel like im

bothering with every call ive made to you lately

so im just kinda stepping back and giving you time to think

im still having a hard time understanding how when i started showing i cared

why u began to push me out

i admit i made mistakes

but i cant understand how i have no place in your life now

i did some fucked up shit and i may ot have made you first at times

but you were never last

so why am i now??

today i woke up

2006-04-23T21:15:10Z

and its been a slow process!!!

thanks to those who have put up with me

that took love and i know ya'll had alot

to deal with in your own life but yet u

still tried . .

maybe i wasnt ready for what ive been getting myself into

not just the realationship i lost

but the friendships

the connection

the blood and mental pain i lost and took in

they say with every bit of pain you take in

you become a lil more wiser

and that may be true

ive lost alot

but all ive been doing is complaining about it

i have yet to really do anything about it

today that changes

many may not believe me when i say this

but im gonna make my life mean something

one day i will have a future in what i want to do

one day i will be independent

one day i will make someone proud

and one day i will be in love

and i will allow them to love me back

im not giving up on anything in front of me

im just making plans with those things involved

this decision came up after i realized how many hate

letters i had wrote to my self these past 2 weeks

and off of numerous friends and newly found friends

that have influenced me a bit

these people i love for that

and i hope they know that

i will no longer wake up and be pathetic

i will wake up thankful for what i have in front

of me

thankful for thoses that love me

and thankful for the air i breathe

thank you to all and its always love

Michael Gonzales

micsheartbleeds @ 2006-03-18T10:37:00

2006-03-18T16:42:36Z

YOUR KNIFE MY HEART

Every scar is a reminder of why I hated you
You single handedly broke me into million pieces
Because of you I cant trust the way I used to
I cant love anymore
Im paranoid of getting even remotely close to someone else
As soon as I do, my past creeps up one way or another
Im ruining everything I have in front of me now!!
Im filled with hate each and everyday
All the while ive been too nice and thought of how
You would feel if you knew what you’ve done
But
That’s killing me more and more
She was rite
Its hard to understand why after all that’s happen
I still let you in
You wanna know what false hope is
Take a walk in her shoes
What about the way I felt all throughout the summer
I wanted things to work but
Apparently you didn’t
And im supposed to just forget cause you said “im sorry”
Im sick of being nice to these people who have hurt me
I was there for you when you needed me
When I cried you were no where around
And the cycle repeats with me
Now im not by her side when she neede me
Isn’t life just one big fucked up plot??

i remember when

2006-03-18T07:35:45Z

i did so much to help
so much to keep love together

now everyone is rite but me these dayz

im a fucking mess and its hard for anyone to give a shit ause i push them away

i'll be all alone one day i know it now

love is fiction for me i guess

fuck it!!!!

its my fault

my days . . oh and how i feel

2006-03-01T21:35:55Z

full of
music
confusion
not knowing what i want
caring too much
so much that i dont show it enough
decisions
i'll have to make em one day
being scared to say anything to you
hatin that i feel u will never trust me
at least not enough
relivings memories i shared with thoses i care about
knowing i leave u confused
doing nuthing bout it
sorry
that wont cut it all the time
u know that though
im out rite now

more showing tommorow nite!!!

tune in to watch my heart bleed all over livejournal

i know u wanna know whats on my mind

but u cant handle it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

u know what . . .

2006-02-24T05:30:09Z

ur ridiculous and thats why i like you

just thought u should know that

♥